The Wait

Dr. Koh says I have to get worse to get better. I suppose I am. I don’t know if it’s the awareness that I’m actually dealing with depression now, or if his prediction is coming true, but I can barely focus on something for more than a few minutes at a time. I forget, I dream, I don’t pay attention, my thoughts just wander everywhere. And whenever I even think about having to deal with work of any kind, it gets worse. Doubled with anxiety, enveloped in heavy and immense dread, there is nothing I want to do but lie on the bed and sleep. But life goes on, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, it has to. Unfortunately, there is no way out. Breathe in…breathe out…

4 thoughts on “The Wait”

  1. tjake13's avatar tjake13 says:

    Hi – Read you blog; but don’t know how I got there?
    Have you ever heard of curezone.com? People with similar problems; though some take extreme measures, so watch it. I assume Dr. Koh can prescribe drugs; so what are you taking? Nothing? Find another doctor. Many depressions are caused by imbalances. Imbalances can be brought on by stress; so find out what is bothering you; death of parents, etc…
    As for being let down by a lesbian when a teenager; you should thank her. Many lesbians have a tough go, and have low self esteem. They sometimes chastize themselves; and she did not take advantage of your youth; good for her.
    I should thank you for getting me acquainted with World Press.
    Good Luck.

  2. tjake13's avatar tjake13 says:

    You notice the post from May 24, still awaiting moderation? There was nothing wrong with my comments, but it would seem a moderator didn’t like them. Now, why would I waste time posting anything on this site, if they are to afraid to post it?

  3. fluffypinkclouds's avatar fluffypinkclouds says:

    Thank you for your comments. Don’t be pissed, it just went to spam and I just checked them.

  4. tjake13's avatar tjake13 says:

    You’re the moderator? I was thinking of starting a post, but I’m afraid they would not put-up what I write; I’m very honest, stepping on toes is my specialty. You don’t have to get worse to get better; sometimes it does work though, but you can’t be sure since since it’s case to case. Have you tried exersize; swimming, surfing… There are also foods that might get you down; allergies to coffee, tea, condiments are some of these. Good Luck

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