How do I live?

Everyday, I feel as though the road ahead is getting bleaker and bleaker. There is no way for me to move on, no push for me to go forward any longer. As I held the knife in my hands the other day, all that went through my head was why I couldn’t just bring it down and slash. Mere seconds of pain to end a lifetime of agony. People tell me to think of those who love me. To those who love me, why don’t you just let me go?