Black hole

For the first time in many months, I laid in bed today and did not have the will or reason to get up. I have never felt more lonely, and were it not for Darwin, I would’ve been sucked back into the black hole. Funny thing is, I’m not alone. But being here makes me feel like I am. I have learnt to be at ease with myself in public, sitting or eating by myself, but under this roof, there is noone but me. And I have realized that it has forced me to be strong. Yet, I shed these tears because sometimes, I just want someone to hold my hand – and my dog doesn’t do a very good job of that.
Tiu, just move out, you say.
But I need to plow through these last few hurdles before I can gather up all my mental and emotional strength for this move. Then, perhaps a truly new beginning in this new decade.
Before that then, allow me to be sob queen for another night…

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